My Birth Control

This post will be a little different than my previous ones because I have never intended to teach anything. Now you may have learnt a thing or two on the way but that was never my intention and I apologize. JK This one however, will be a teaching one.

SO LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES.

I have never been on any form of birth control - except the most fool-proof one...not doing something that could result in a birth haha

BUT as the whole marriage thing has happened...I had to reevaluate my methods. (#celibacy4lyfe)

So I really hated the idea of having to ingest something, put something in my body, stick something to my body, rely solely on my parter etc. etc.  Haha, so what the heck else is there eh?

Thank you for asking. Here's what else there is:
**all info taken from www.kindara.com**
Fertility Awareness Method - No it isn't some weird bead using, rhythm thing. Watch this:



So that is super cute, right? So cute.

Because I am mega lazy and avoiding studying for finals I just took a bunch of screen shots from their avoiding pregnancy page:

So yeah, that about sums it up - do your own research now.

But I've been charting for 16 cycles, like 9 of them married. So success!

They also have a get pregnant page if that is your jam.

There is beauty in our brokenness

I read this post this morning, The Brutally Honest Christmas Card. And it is awesome.

One of the comments below, that I didn't actually read, says "there is beauty in our brokenness".

AMEN.

That post coupled with other things made me seriously appreciate that phrase, "there is beauty in our brokenness".

There really is. And this family took their virtual christmas card as an opportunity to display their brokenness.

I'm sorry everyone, but when I get a christmas card with all the weddings your family had and the missions your children are on, that's great, but not everything.

I appreciate the cards that include the struggles, the ATV crash that put your son in the hospital and knocked out his front teeth.

Those are the ones that express the depth of your life. The aforementioned happy events are just the surface.

The shit we go through is the shit that makes us.

Display that more often, people.

I am absolutely fed up

Hear that? I am absolutely fed up. Maybe more just heartbroken, frustrated and discouraged. Maybe those are better words to describe what I am.

With every passing second our world becomes a less stable, accepting, loving, safe place. How many days have passed since the last mass shooting? Zero. 0. None. That's how many. Do we need to start counting in minutes? How pathetic. Where did our conflict resolution skills go?

What has happened? Why do we trust our leaders less now than before?

So what we have a shit president? What happened to Power to the People? Why haven't we done anything about it? Why can't we do anything about it? What happened to the days where when things were going wrong we could change them as a team, a country?

Why do we trust one another less now than before?

What has happened? Why are we so entitled and selfish and dangerously unaware of those around us and yet so willing to offer our commentary on others?

When did it become acceptable for people to expect things they have neither earned nor deserve? How did it happen?

When did we begin to need validation from individuals we see only once yearly?

When did our sense of worth move from what our parents, teachers, mentors, God and we ourselves thought of us to what acquaintance, stranger, random person you'll never meet thinks of us?

When did we stop respecting our elders? At the rate we are going at the least they can say they didn't singlehandedly destroy all of humanity in a single generation. 

When did some other country's citizens become more important than the men and women who are responsible for this country's freedom?

When did we get so spineless? Why can we not stand up for what we believe without some entitled cretin claiming some PC card?  When did differing opinions become "hate" instead of growth? Get a hold of yourselves, you ignorant swine. 

Why does Dr. Everett Piper, President of Oklahoma Wesleyan University, have to write a blogpost like this?

"This past week, I actually had a student come forward after a university chapel service and complain because he felt “victimized” by a sermon on the topic of 1 Corinthians 13. It appears this young scholar felt offended because a homily on love made him feel bad for not showing love. In his mind, the speaker was wrong for making him, and his peers, feel uncomfortable.

I’m not making this up. Our culture has actually taught our kids to be this self-absorbed and narcissistic. Any time their feelings are hurt, they are the victims. Anyone who dares challenge them and, thus, makes them “feel bad” about themselves, is a “hater,” a “bigot,” an “oppressor,” and a “victimizer.”"

Because we are weak, entitled, selfish, arrogant, ignorant. That is a lethal combination of characteristics. It is despicable. We are a despicable people. We are hateful. We are selfish. We are close minded. We have lost so many valuable lessons from humanity like hard work and unity, conflict resolution, not being an ass to name a few. We are individualistic to a fault. We are judgmental to the worst degree. It is no wonder society is literally crumbling before us all with more hatred and division than ever. What else would anyone expect when we ignore people in need, when non procreating couples are wedded, when we care about no one but ourselves, when the safety, health and wellbeing of our own citizens is put far down on the to do list? What else can you possibly expect?

As of yet I have no idea what I am supposed to do about it all. Seems like a hefty task. But the first step is recognizing you have a problem, right? That's more than millions of entitled little freaks have done. 

Dear Sir,

Dear Sir,

I am sorry. I am sorry for whatever circumstances lead you to this place. I am sorry for the infinite decisions that brought you to this one. I am sorry for the way you have lived your life. I am sorry if someone took away your agency and you could not gain it back. I am sorry for the way your life has played out.

How did it make sense? How could this fulfill the dreams you had for yourself? How could you remove so many good things from this earth in such as short time? How do you feel now? Do you just not think about it? How else could you proceed with the things you have planned to do? Where are your parents?

Do you even know the man whose bidding you are doing? Do you know those you serve with? Do you feel kinship? Do you know the rewards or consequences you will receive because of your actions? Do you understand anything of this? Didn't you have an infinite number of alternatives?

What is the appeal? What draws you to this life? What makes this worth it? Do you know you are rewriting the history books? Do you know you are creating national holidays? Do you know the men and women who feel your wrath? I don't understand, Sir.

I do understand this though. When your time comes to leave this life, you will meet your Maker. You will have to account for the infinite decisions you made. I am sure not all of them will bring your damnation. You can't have been that lost, Sir. But, some will bring your damnation and you will have to carry that burden until you are given another chance. Like others felt your wrath, you will feel the wrath of your Maker who had such hopes for you. Hopes of creation and lifting, not destruction and decay. You will meet those who felt your wrath while you had your agency and you will listen to their stories. You will listen to the experiences you forced upon them and you will carry that burden until you are given another chance.

Sir, it wasn't worth it,

Me

It's a good thing I don't have Facebook

Ok team, I have realized that it is a darn good thing that I do not have Facebook or Tumblr or Twitter or Instagram or any of these other "social" media dealies.

When I had Twitter and Facebook 3+ years ago, I was not nearly as knowledgable, confident, or intolerant of idiocy, ignorance, sexism, grammar delinquents as I am now. Therefore, I was a very polite and passive social media user.

Today it is a different story. Boy, is it a different story. I think I have just given myself a lifelong ban on "social" media dealies. Because I would spend way too much time trying to correct the problems of society as they are manifested by ignoramuses online.

I do not tolerate sexism. I do not tolerate incorrect grammar
**I know people make typos and that is AOKAY - nobody's perfect**
I do not tolerate ignorance. I do not tolerate ingenuineness (I know that isn't a word). I can't handle it. People cannot be doofuses their entire lives (according to me) and who the F is going to stop them from being a doofus? If I had "social" media, it would defs be me. I would correct the bejeezuz out of all of them. I would make my opinion so known it would be outrageous.

So all you idiots, ignorants, sexists, doofuses of the "social" media world: Thank your lucky stars I am not a part of your world.

Where I am at now

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

I am halfway sorry if I offended you with that

that is where I am at. So many things are shfga;hsfkgjbas;kuegf

I just started a graduate degree program at BYU Provo and I hate it. I dont like what I am learning I dont like what the program is training me to do. And like hello? didn't I choose this program because i was interested in it. Yes stupid i did. 

But what i didn't realize was that everything about public health is political. You can't do anything of any importance without involving a law or government of some kind. why? because no one cares. no one will do anything unless legally required. bc people are the worst. well a lot of people are the worst. and mostly when i say people i mean the collective people - no particular individual ya know?

like smoking. Who the F smokes anymore? a lot of people. Why? who the F knows bc everyone and their unborn children know that smoking is one of the worst things you can do to your body. and yet, so many people still smoke. so we pass laws that keep people of certain ages from smoking and keep people from smoking in certain places. oh and btw that doesn't even work. 

smoking rates for underage humans is stupidly high. so there public health. 

its stupid. and if you are poor you will be less healthy than if you were the exact same but rich. so thats stupid. and if you are black or hispanic you will be less healthy than if you were the exact same but white. so thats stupid. and all of these things are society's fault. 

what i have learned is that until we totally restructure society, people will be unhealthy and die earlier. and since i don't have any desire to become president i have limited options. so f that

and graduate school is about research and i dont care about research. and graduate school is about writing articles to be published and i dont care about being published. 

i hate it. but bc of money and a deal ill keep going this semester but if it aint better i swear i am so out of there its ridiculous. 

anyways i guess all of this is really a thank you and appreciation for my best friend bc without him i would be this

instead of just this

(really awesome drawings by the way people)

so thank you love muffin. youre the greatest

Newlywed Nightmares

So in honor of being married for 5 months and having our reception in a couple weeks, I figured I would do some lovely story telling of the nightmares that Christopher and I have gone through since getting married.

So we got married on a Friday in the morning, and went to St. George in the evening for a three day honeymoon. We got there pretty lateish so we pretty much went right to bed. Our two biggest problems presented themselves fairly quickly.

1. Christopher was sick. Like snotty nose, tissues and garbage can by the bedside, mouth breathing all night sick. It was disgusting. He was gross, but in sickness and in health right?  So yeah that was super gross.


2. I don't share my bed easily. Awake or asleep apparently. I was tired so I fell asleep quickly and was out for the night. According to Christopher, this is what happened:

I was asleep and he was awake, mouth breathing I'm sure. I think he tried to snuggle up to me and instead of accepting it, I kicked him, hard, and told him to move over. He got upset thinking I was awake and being mean so he said, "Fine, I was moving over anyways."

He told me this in the morning. I don't remember it at all.



Our biggest problem was sleeping together - as in literally sleeping in the same bed together. I talk in my sleep. A lot. So much that I wake him up and he thinks I am talking to him so he will respond. Well, when he responds he wakes me up and I get pissed because why the heck is he waking me up in the middle of the night to talk to me?!? So annoying. Night time is sleep time, not talk time.

One night, I screamed bloody murder in my sleep. Like horror story stuff. Christopher was so freaked out so he started shouting my name. Shouting at a sleeping person, can you imagine? Geez. So he yells me awake and of course, I got angry at him for waking me up.

I also am very aggressive in my sleep. I sort of abuse him a lot. He gets too close and my (sleeping) self will physically remove him from my half of the bed. Kicking, pushing, punching. I have done it all to him during the night.

Another thing I do is move. A lot. One night, I was possessed and started to bob my head up and down on the pillow, counting with each rise and fall. I mean that is creepy. So creepy. My husband thought I was possessed for like three days. I honestly felt bad for that one.

It took like 3 months before we could get a good night's sleep after being married. Luckily, we have mostly worked that out and the nightly domestic abuse has lessened and as far as I know, he is used to me talking all the time.

It drives him crazy though because he wants me to remember what I am dreaming or why I am talking, but I never remember my dreams. He remembers all of his dreams.

I say he should just be happy I am not beating him up anymore. :)

Ignorance

People who don't know make me sad

I make things

I like to make things.

My constant question is, "Why buy it, when I can [buy the supplies and] make it?"

Here are a few examples:

Knit headbands:

Christmas wreath:

Lace detailing on dress/shorts:

My wedding bouquet/boutonniere:

Dog house:

Colored pants:

It makes me happy to create.

Lonely

When my best friend is gone I feel like Antipholus of Syracuse:

He that commends me to mine own content

Commends me to the thing I cannot get.

I to the world am like a drop of water

That in the ocean seeks another drop,

Who, falling there to find h[er] fellow forth,

Unseen, inquisitive, confounds h[er]self.

Trailer Trash - Classy Version

Alright team.


I am going to live in a trailer. Correction: We are going to live in a trailer:
Him:

And me:

and sometimes her:

We look like we could be trailer dwelling folks, right?

Well we have been looking for months for a trailer to buy. 

Finally we found one. A beaut. From the 80's. Mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmm

Here she is:

 



 
 
 

BUT: While my partner has been gone fighting fires - hence the ashy face - I have been working my fingers to the bone to get this trailer revamped.

The plan is to paint some stuff, take some stuff out, put some stuff in, etc, etc.

Here she is midway through the prepping process:

 

Mostly I just took all the doors off of everything. I was pretending to be a carpenter/painter/whatever job takes doors off of things.

Here I am pretending to be a seamstress:

I like to pretend I know how to do things until I actually do know how to do things. It works out super well actually.


Stay tuned for the rest of the revamp of our camper. I like to call it our recamp.