You know that perfect family?
The one that doesn't have a drug addict in it?
That family that doesn't have any pregnant teenagers?
The one that has never been featured on an episode of Intervention?
The one that has never had a crises of faith?
The one that has never argued?
The one that knows how to tip properly at restaurants?
That family that has no divorces to speak of?
No lying?
No cheating?
No children born out of wedlock?
The one that has never had any member serve jail time?
The family that has never had any member in rehab?
The one that always dresses modestly?
The family that is RIDICULOUSLY photogenic?
The one that doesn't have any runaways?
The one that has never had the police bring their children home in the middle of the night?
The family whose children always behave politely?
No secrets?
No mental breakdowns?
No vices?
The one whose dog doesn't bark in the middle of the night?
That family that never speaks ill of others?
The one that never eats junk food?
The one that doesn't watch R-rated movies?
The one with children on missions in Brazil, Russia, AND Texas?
The one that watches all 4 sessions of General Conference and goes to Priesthood and the Relief Society meeting?
That one family with all brilliant minds?
The one that is made up of all wonderful musicians?
The one that drives super nice, clean cars?
The one that hasn't had to adopt because they are perfectly fertile?
The family that never has sweat stains?
The one with not a single zit between the lot of them?
The one with children at Harvard and Yale and Pepperdine?
The one with the all-state lacrosse star and the Decathlete with awards?
The family that serves others ALL THE TIME?
The one with all the girls with the Tiffany's necklaces?
That family that has never felt like a failure?
...yeah, me neither....
