It's time for the cliche post about summer

Summertime. HOLY COW.

Love it.
Why?

Because its the time where you can wear the same clothing for 4 days in a row and no one cares. Its the time where you can shower only twice a week and then count the times you swim or are at the waterpark as another form of shower.

Because its the time where you can sit and do absolutely nothing and enjoy it!
Or read the hunger games in one day, reading from the part where she drops the tracker jacker nest to when they announce that two tributes from the same district can win out loud to your sisters in the living room.
Or take a bike ride or a longboard ride and just do it. Not thinking about what you have to do when you get home or what you were supposed to do before. Living in the moment 100%.

It is the time of sunburns that hurt but make you feel so alive. It is a time of tan.

Its the time when you dont really wear shoes.

Its the time when you don't put your contacts in until noon.

Summer when its so bloody hot you get cranky.

It's when you have minimal responsibilities.

When you only look at your phone once a day and get to be free from it the rest of the time.

I love summer. I really really do. Love it. It is great.


ENJOY SUMMER PEOPLE

"I've just had an apostrophe" about who I am

..."I think you mean an epiphany"

"Lightening has just struck my brain"

"Well, that must hurt"

GUESS THAT MOVIE!
Anyone?
Anyone?
Well for those of you who got it, GOOD JOB.
For those who didn't...keep stewing on it.


Anyway, I did have a weird epiphany last night as I was falling asleep. It was super simple but so incredibly profound that I am still trying to decide what to do next.

I do realize that this probably won't make sense to anyone but me but I'm still putting it out there.


The epiphany: Past me can never be simultaneous with present me and present me can never be simultaneous with future me and past and future me will never exist at the same time.


Lately I've been feeling that I have been holding myself back from changing or being "me". But it's not the me that I am now that I am not letting myself be. It is the possible future me that I am not letting myself become.


Why? Well I have some thoughts. The main one has to do with me "preserving" myself for some unknown entity...

Entity A: someone that I know from my past that I want to stay the same for
Entity B: someone from my future that I don't know that I want to be this me for
Entity C: some unknown entity (whether real or not I cannot say) that I am staying this me for
Entity D: past me wants to keep me from turning into future me
Entity E: future me doesn't want to come forth
Entity F: transitional me is afraid to commit to future me, but also doesn't want to remain past me

The other thought is that others around me are sort of holding me back...

Those are my theories as to why I won't let me be myfutureself. I don't know which one is most realistic or if they are all hanging out inside me working together.

I have realized that when I am not thinking about Entities A-F I am myself (the transitional moving forward self). But as soon as I start thinking about Entities A-F I alter back to now me which I think should be past me. It's a strange concept really.

I need to be future me because if you think about it, past me is already dead and gone. She died when I graduated high school. She died when I started and finished my first year of college. She died when I had my heart broken. She died when I got a job at the university. She died when I started and finished my second year of college. Each new step I take kills a part of the old me. And rightfully so. That is the way it needs to be.

Past me, present me and future me cannot be all there. They are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. They're
sep

ar

ate

And they always will be. I need to decide which I want to be since limbo isn't really a place to begin with. 

Well, I know which God wants me to be, now I just have to reconcile that with what I think will get me what I want. I know God wants future Kylee to kick present Kylee to the curb after thanking her profusely for all the work she did while she was here:

Future Kylee: "Hey Kylee, you know you made all the difference since you've been here. You have prepared the way for me to begin anew with such an incredible head start. I am so thankful that you did what you did while you were here"

Present Kylee: "I just did what made sense and what made me happy. I definitely didn't walk my path unscathed, but I do think I am a helluva lot better than past Kylee. Don't tell her I said that, since she helped me out in the beginning, like I'm helping you out now"

Future Kylee: "I totally understand. We change and its hard to let the future become the present, but Kylee, you really have done all that you can do. You have fought the best fight, you have kept our course, you have kept and built the faith. You need to leave now. Let go."

Present Kylee: "I know...but let me hang out a little longer please...I can show you the ropes."

Future Kylee: "I cannot get any more help from past Kylee since that by definition will keep me in the past."

Present Kylee: "I guess you can call me past Kylee now, present Kylee. Good luck. Remember what we learned and decided while I was present Kylee. Keep it up so that future Kylee can be better than me and you."

NEW FUTURE KYLEE: "Good bye past Kylee. I won't let us down"

NEW PAST KYLEE: "I'll stay close."

That is kind of how I picture it in my head. 

I know that is a pretty accurate depiction of how it needs to happen, but for some reason past me is holding on. 

My problem: I have not placed enough trust in God. 

The solution: Ask for help.

If all goes well, this may be the last interaction y'all have with this present Kylee.

It's been too long since I've featured these two....

...stunning, handsome, talented, and attractive guys...

Most their work is better than the original

Especially that one...

I am so glad there are semi-obscure (thanks Allen for introducing me to these guys), super talented people out there to fix what the overrated, under skilled artists create. I hope it continues in like fashion.

Seriously, people like these guys make music sound like what it should. They take a good idea, bad production (Mirrors) and turn it into the music that it wanted to be before JT turned it all wrong. They release the true product and I am thankful for them.

Be thankful people!