Trailer Trash - Classy Version

Alright team.


I am going to live in a trailer. Correction: We are going to live in a trailer:
Him:

And me:

and sometimes her:

We look like we could be trailer dwelling folks, right?

Well we have been looking for months for a trailer to buy. 

Finally we found one. A beaut. From the 80's. Mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmm

Here she is:

 



 
 
 

BUT: While my partner has been gone fighting fires - hence the ashy face - I have been working my fingers to the bone to get this trailer revamped.

The plan is to paint some stuff, take some stuff out, put some stuff in, etc, etc.

Here she is midway through the prepping process:

 

Mostly I just took all the doors off of everything. I was pretending to be a carpenter/painter/whatever job takes doors off of things.

Here I am pretending to be a seamstress:

I like to pretend I know how to do things until I actually do know how to do things. It works out super well actually.


Stay tuned for the rest of the revamp of our camper. I like to call it our recamp.

UpsideDownBackWards

Baldness where there should be hair.
Blank stares where there should be engaged eyes.
Blankets and long sleeves where there should be shorts and T-shirts.
Chaos where there should be peace.
Confusion where there should be clarity.
Death where there should be life.

Doors where there should be doorways.

Fear where there should be faith.
Feet where there should be inches.
Frowns where there should be smiles.
Gums where there should be teeth.
Hair where there should be baldness.
Holes and gaps where there should be wholes.
Inches where there should be centimeters.
Lies where there should be truth.
Life where there should be death.
Locks where there should be unrestricted access.
Messes where there should be clean.
No where there should be Yes.
Questions where there should be answers.
Sadness where there should be joy.
Truth where there should be lies.
Uncertainty where there should be confidence.
Wheels where there should be feet.
Wrinkles where there should be smooth.
? when there should be ..

I'm glad I have worked my life out thus far

First: There but for the grace of God go I.

Second. I am glad I have ambition and desires in life. I am thankful I wasn't married and having babies beginning before my second year of college. I am thankful I am the way I am.

Fenway

I'll start by quoting my papa:

"After a 95 year hiatus, the winning World Series game happened last night. At Fenway Park.

Sure hope they re-sign Jacoby.

Loved that Drew hit that home run. He was due.

Papi got walked to TIE the WS record for walks in a game (a milestone in pitching cowardice).

What a Series.  Just when you think you've seen it all you get an outcome deciding obstruction call in one game followed by a pick-off walk-off in the next.

Molina missed that tag at the plate. Didn't matter, though.

A BALK in the WS?!?! Wow, now I gotta cut my daughter slack.

Parade today in Boston."

Now my own words.

It was beautiful. Koji Uehara - check out his story here -  and also his son's interview here -->
pitching that last pitch to Carpenter was beautiful.

The beards are beautiful.

Boston Strong is beautiful.

Fenway park is beautiful.

Boston fans are beautiful.

Victory is beautiful.
  Jacoby Ellsbury is beautiful and we had better re-sign him. 

There is just a certain happiness that pretty much only comes from your baseball team winning the world series. That happiness is beautiful. 

Much like these bearded men:

"I've just had an apostrophe" about who I am

..."I think you mean an epiphany"

"Lightening has just struck my brain"

"Well, that must hurt"

GUESS THAT MOVIE!
Anyone?
Anyone?
Well for those of you who got it, GOOD JOB.
For those who didn't...keep stewing on it.


Anyway, I did have a weird epiphany last night as I was falling asleep. It was super simple but so incredibly profound that I am still trying to decide what to do next.

I do realize that this probably won't make sense to anyone but me but I'm still putting it out there.


The epiphany: Past me can never be simultaneous with present me and present me can never be simultaneous with future me and past and future me will never exist at the same time.


Lately I've been feeling that I have been holding myself back from changing or being "me". But it's not the me that I am now that I am not letting myself be. It is the possible future me that I am not letting myself become.


Why? Well I have some thoughts. The main one has to do with me "preserving" myself for some unknown entity...

Entity A: someone that I know from my past that I want to stay the same for
Entity B: someone from my future that I don't know that I want to be this me for
Entity C: some unknown entity (whether real or not I cannot say) that I am staying this me for
Entity D: past me wants to keep me from turning into future me
Entity E: future me doesn't want to come forth
Entity F: transitional me is afraid to commit to future me, but also doesn't want to remain past me

The other thought is that others around me are sort of holding me back...

Those are my theories as to why I won't let me be myfutureself. I don't know which one is most realistic or if they are all hanging out inside me working together.

I have realized that when I am not thinking about Entities A-F I am myself (the transitional moving forward self). But as soon as I start thinking about Entities A-F I alter back to now me which I think should be past me. It's a strange concept really.

I need to be future me because if you think about it, past me is already dead and gone. She died when I graduated high school. She died when I started and finished my first year of college. She died when I had my heart broken. She died when I got a job at the university. She died when I started and finished my second year of college. Each new step I take kills a part of the old me. And rightfully so. That is the way it needs to be.

Past me, present me and future me cannot be all there. They are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. They're
sep

ar

ate

And they always will be. I need to decide which I want to be since limbo isn't really a place to begin with. 

Well, I know which God wants me to be, now I just have to reconcile that with what I think will get me what I want. I know God wants future Kylee to kick present Kylee to the curb after thanking her profusely for all the work she did while she was here:

Future Kylee: "Hey Kylee, you know you made all the difference since you've been here. You have prepared the way for me to begin anew with such an incredible head start. I am so thankful that you did what you did while you were here"

Present Kylee: "I just did what made sense and what made me happy. I definitely didn't walk my path unscathed, but I do think I am a helluva lot better than past Kylee. Don't tell her I said that, since she helped me out in the beginning, like I'm helping you out now"

Future Kylee: "I totally understand. We change and its hard to let the future become the present, but Kylee, you really have done all that you can do. You have fought the best fight, you have kept our course, you have kept and built the faith. You need to leave now. Let go."

Present Kylee: "I know...but let me hang out a little longer please...I can show you the ropes."

Future Kylee: "I cannot get any more help from past Kylee since that by definition will keep me in the past."

Present Kylee: "I guess you can call me past Kylee now, present Kylee. Good luck. Remember what we learned and decided while I was present Kylee. Keep it up so that future Kylee can be better than me and you."

NEW FUTURE KYLEE: "Good bye past Kylee. I won't let us down"

NEW PAST KYLEE: "I'll stay close."

That is kind of how I picture it in my head. 

I know that is a pretty accurate depiction of how it needs to happen, but for some reason past me is holding on. 

My problem: I have not placed enough trust in God. 

The solution: Ask for help.

If all goes well, this may be the last interaction y'all have with this present Kylee.

This man may be the reason I pass summer school

If are a student, either formally in classes or just in life, LOOK UP

KHAN ACADEMY



He's great. I am so grateful to him. His Chemistry videos are AMAZAZING

Check out his other subjects. He knows his stuffssss

Shut the world out...Ignore the world within?

Do you ever just feel like you have to shut the world around you out? Like the things that are happening around you are too much to handle and they might destroy you under their weight?

*LIKE THIS*  (<--those people probably are from Wyoming...)

Well that happened tonight. I just couldn't take it and it was too much. So I gathered myself up, put my headphones in, turned on the best pandora station ever, and went on a walk.

I think I couldn't handle the world inside myself either. I was raging mad. Over a stupid thing that I REALLY shouldn't waste my time on. But still. The thoughts and feelings were seriously pissing me off. I needed to ignore them.

So I shut the world out, ignored the world within and just walked. Man it was wonderful. I just listened and sang to my Mumford and Muse and Phillips, while escaping the terrors of the world at the moment. I strolled like a boss through campus, leaving a trail of problems with the steps I took.

I walked to the library to return my movies, then to the tute to play the piano. It was so wonderful. I just released it all and healed those bummers. Those bummers be gone!!

For now.

I'll probably be angry over that thing again in like 24 minutes, but who cares!?

I just love the power of music and nature. It really is the panacea of the world. That and baseball. But really, any issues I am having can be solved by putting my headphones in and walking (or I could take my lovely Jasper now). That fixes it.

It is even better now as well. All the students have gone home for the summer. It is even quieter and calmer and more desolate than normal. Peaceful. I loved it.

On a brighter note, I feel such great things coming from this summer. This summer may change my life. I think it will. I think I will let it. This summer will leave me a better person than it found me. I really think it will.

Let the summer come. Let it bring with it all the wonder and joy and if I must fail this summer I hope I fail gloriously.

I await summer with open arms, an open mind, and an open heart.

It is going to be good

Finals Week Approaches

Ah finals week. That week where 4 months of knowledge is compiled in a few sheets of paper. How is that an accurate gauge of learning? I think it is not. But, alas, I don't determine that stuff. Other people far "wiser" than I do. 

Finals week is the hardest, most stressful, exhausting week of the semester. The week preceding it (this coming week) also sucks. It is when you (should) prepare for those tests. It is hours of reviewing, memorizing, relearning, learning for the first time 4 months of knowledge. Again, how is that logical? 

Anyway, I like to write myself up a little inspirational document to get jazzed for finals week. It is usually a combination of youtube videos, pins from Pinterest, quotes from famous people and apostles/prophets, and scriptures. If you are super lucky and I like you a lot and want you to do well on your finals as well I may just send it to you...but most likely not...or maybe

Here is what this semesters contained:

If you replace "riding your bike" with "pass your finals" it is enough to get anyone to do well

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"
2 Timothy 1:7


God hath not given you the spirit of fear. That comes from the adversary. The Lord has given you the power of love, and a sound mind; the power of the priesthood, the power of your call, love for the gospel which you teach, for the people you teach, and for the Lord.


"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."Mosiah 4:27


Just take things one day at a time, otherwise you'll become overwhelmed.-Gordon B. Hinckley, Stand A Little Taller

There's more, but I should really get back to finishing my 23 page paper on human femur measurements. 

KY - SIGNING OFF

In case you missed it - Bosox

Boston might not suck this year.....emphasis on MIGHT

Jackie Bradley Jr. and the Red Sox were daring on the basepaths. Jon Lester and the Boston bullpen were aggressive against a barely recognizable New York Yankees' lineup.

The Red Sox looked as if they were in a hurry to put a dreadful 2012 season behind them. They're off to an impressive start, giving new manager John Farrell an 8-2 win on opening day Monday.

"I think how you saw it (Monday) is how we can win a lot of ballgames," new designated hitterJonny Gomes said. "It was kind of all there early."

Shane Victorino led a revamped Red Sox lineup with three RBIs and Bradley walked three times and scored twice in his big league debut. Boston's big day against CC Sabathia (0-1) came a year after it lost its first three games under Bobby Valentine and went on to a 69-93 finish.

Facing a Yankees lineup minus injured Derek Jeterfor the first time since 2001 and just three starters from opening day a year ago, Lester (1-0) gave up five hits and two runs in five sharp innings against the defending AL East champions.

"It's big," Lester said. "It's obviously a lot nicer than the past couple of years to be on top 1-0 instead of going through a whole road trip without a win again."

Yankees stars Alex Rodriguez, Curtis Grandersonand Mark Teixeira also are on the disabled list.

"You're talking about some of the best players in the game. It's going to be a little different," Sabathia said. "But we know what we have to do and who's not here. That's not an excuse."

Bradley, meanwhile, made an immediate impact after earning a spot with a strong spring training performance.

In his first plate appearance, the ever-smiling 22-year-old outfielder worked a one-out walk after falling behind 0-2. That helped Boston touch up the big lefty for four runs in the second inning -- and start the angry rumblings of 49,514 anxious Yankees fans.

Young No. 44 then stole a potential RBI hit from Robinson Cano with a running, twisting grab in a swirling wind in left field in the third. Bradley added an RBI groundout in the seventh.

All in a day's work for the unflappable rookie.

"I wasn't nervous. I was ready," Bradley said. "Just trying to do whatever I can to help the team win."

The punchless Yankees had just one hit after the fifth inning against five relievers in losing a season opener at home for the first time since 1982, after 11 straight wins.

Adding to the tough day all around for New York, rain in the ninth inning sent fans running for cover while the Red Sox scored three times against a mustachioed Joba Chamberlain.

Friendly Confines

Jon Lester struck out seven over five sharp innings Monday to pick up his seventh career win at the new Yankee Stadium. The left-hander easily has the most wins at the ballpark among all visiting pitchers.

Most Wins By Visiting Pitcher At New Yankee Stadium

Pitcher	Wins
Jon Lester	7
Josh Beckett	4
Felix Hernandez	4
David Price	4
-- ESPN Stats & Information

Jacoby Ellsbury had a sharp two-run infield single that first baseman Lyle Overbay, picked up off waivers only a week ago, couldn't handle for his third hit. Victorino singled home Bradley to add to the romp.

"We want to put pressure on the opposition," Farrell said. "And that's not strictly with attempted steals and how we look to run the bases first to third, but the attitude and how we go about our work."

One team in New York won on Monday, though. In a first, the Yankees and Mets opened on the same day at the same time. The Mets finished off an 11-2 victory while their Bronx counterparts were in the eighth inning.

Before the game, the Yankees held a tribute to the victims of the school shooting in Newtown, Conn., and honored first responders at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Both teams wore a patch that included the Newtown seal, a black memorial ribbon and 26 stars, one for each victim.

No matter the colorful history between the clubs, the reality in 2013 is this: The two teams that have dominated the division for more than a decade enter opening day with considerably less swagger.

Heck, the Yankees played as if they were still trying to get to know each other -- and they were, with several March acquisitions.

The Bleacher Creatures' roll call was loaded with new names because of injuries and the departures of free agents Nick Swisher and Russell Martin.

"We brought some guys in later into camp," manager Joe Girardi said. "They're going to get a lot of opportunities here, and we're going to need them to perform."

One name the Creatures did include was closer Mariano Rivera, who is coming back from a torn knee ligament and said during spring training he plans to retire at the end of the season.

But he wasn't needed in this one after Boston jumped out to an early lead. That was enough for Lester, who looked more like the pitcher who won at least 15 games every year from 2008-11 and not the one who went 9-14 last year.

Boston wasn't at full strength, either. David Ortiz is on the disabled list with sore heels, the first time he was not the Red Sox designated hitter for the opener since Jeremy Giambi in 2003.

The Red Sox had only four players from their opening-day lineup last year starting in this one:Dustin Pedroia, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Ellsbury and Lester, making his third consecutive such start.

Even weirder: former gritty Red Sox star Kevin Youkilis was clean-shaved and in Yankees pinstripes.

"I think we're making it more than it is," he said. "I go out there and play. I don't sit down and stare at my uniform all game."

Making his 10th opening-day start overall, Sabathia settled after the second to allow four runs and eight hits.

Francisco Cervelli, who spent nearly all last season in Triple-A, had a two-run single off Lester in the fourth and made a swift tag on Ellsbury sliding into home plate in the sixth.

Reversal in Time

This is from my dear friend Aspen tree. She is amaza-zing. I recommend clicking on the link at the beginning of her post so that you can hear her reading the piece.

It is beautiful.

 Reversal in Time

Breakfast shake: an update

For part one see here
After taking it to friends houses, hot water, cold water, banging it on the counter, etc.... I had no luck with the blender top....sooooooo


I took it to the police station right across the street from my apartment and told the nice lady behind the glass "Honestly, I just need someone to help me open my blender" after she asked what she could do for me.

So I waited in the lobby of the police station while she got a strong po po to help me. He came out and opened my blender for me!!

In all of the people who tried to open it's defense - he struggled a little bit....just a little, but at least he didn't just look at it and it opened of its own accord...


Anyway....police are friends in times of need. (Like when you can't have your wonderful breakfast cause you can't open it)

Dear 2013 - A Letter

Dear year 2013,

You are brand new. You have just been born. Hardly even 24 hours old. And this time is precious. You don't know much about anyone yet but I think you'll learn a lot over the next 12 months.

My plans for you are tremendous, requiring a lot of work on both our parts. I plan to make you the best year yet. That won't be easy since my senior year of high school was brilliant and I think 2012 may have even beat that with its adventures and schools and friends and food and jobs.

This year you, 2013, have my favorite number, 13. This is a good omen for me. This is my year. My number. I will do new things. Things I have never done before. I will meet new people. I will dance new dances and sing new songs. I will wear new clothes and maybe cut my hair. I will read new books and maybe see a new movie or two. I will have new experiences and make new memories to create something new out of the old, 2012, me.

2013, you will only be around for 365 days so you must be all you can be in that very short time. As your name suggests, you have many fore-bearers and each one gave something to every person who lived through them. Likewise, you will have many follow in your footsteps. You have endless opportunities before you. You can contribute in so many ways.

You represent newness and a bright open sky. A sky of my favorite pink, purple, and blue that suggests to people that they can throw off the old, the outdated, the heaviness, and the things that drag them down. You are a time for people to lose that weight, to make that commitment, to get that 4.0, adopt that child, make that leap of faith that will change their 2014 and 2015 and 2016. 2013, stay unbarred and unblocked for all those people for as long as you can.

2013 I know it is a lot to ask of you, but I believe it can happen. If you can, bring more peace than conflict. If you can bring more joy than grief. If you can, bring more love than hate. If you can, bring more pleasure than pain. If you can, bring more smiles than frowns.  If you can, bring more selflessness than selfishness. If you can, bring more light than dark. If you can, bring more hope than despair. If you can, bring more marriage than divorce. If you can, bring more prosperity than poverty. I believe in you 2013. I really, really do.

Now, I know there will be disappointment in the next 52 weeks, but why bother with that now when the sky is my favorite pink, purple, and blue? I know there will be some tears of sadness but why worry about that when the door is wide open?

I pray for you 2013. I give you my blessing and look forward to the next year you will be with us.
Sincerely,

Kylee Ann Snuffer

Ch. Ch. Check it out

 Click. It.

If i had one wish

If I had one wish,

only one wish,

it would be to:

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

I wish I had the patience of nature. Can you imagine? 

Your life would look like this:

Mother Nature is the ultimate patient being. With patience, she creates beauty and perfection.

Patience creates this:

  

Patience captured this:

  

Even though at the moment i feel more along the lines of 

Abused patience turns to fury.   

If I could somehow be patient like nature, my world would resemble this:

  

 

 

Oh to be patient like Mother Nature.... 

If You Fail, Fail with Glory

Wanna know why I named my blog that?

Here ya go:

Well I keep these notes in my phone and I was looking through them one day and the note went as follows:

Psalms 16:11
Helaman 13:29
Find joy in the journey
-pres Monson
If we fail we fail with glory


SOOO I'm not sure why I had those all in a note but when I was looking for inspiration for my blog name and I came upon this note, "If we fail we fail with glory" really caught my attention.

When I am trying to decide something I go 98% by gut feeling and 2% by logical thought. I'll go through idea after idea and if I don't get that feeling I will move onto the next one. It is how I decide everything! Like which conference talks to read every week and what names to give my water bottles. I just know the feeling that it is the right one. It clicks. It fits. It goes. It feels right.


When I saw "If we fail we fail with glory" written on the note I knew it. I got that feeling. BAM Done and Done. I didn't know where the line came from until later on. It is from a hymn "God Speed the Right".

I love the idea of failing with glory. Why the heck should we be afraid of failure if we did it gloriously??? Since I've discovered that line in the hymn that is what I have tried to do with my life. I am going to try a lot of things and I am going to fail a lot of things. That much is inevitable.

But I can control HOW I fail. If I am going to fail, I am going to do it on MY terms and it will be a glorious failure. Oh man. It almost makes you excited to fail.

If you fail, fail gloriously people!

Happy weekend! Thanksgiving is just in front of us!

Shmer mherrr herrmerurrrr

That is how i feel right now

i feel so much like that that i dont even care about punctuation or grammar rules or anything

so good luck reading this

sometimes the only thing that keeps me on my feet walking on or jamming on when i am listening to my ipod is the fact that time is moving

despite what it may feel like
like time isnt moving at all
like ive been in the same place doing the same thing for all of eternity
like i will continue in the same fashion for the rest of eternity
time is moving

thank goodness for that
time is passing

i dont really know why that is a comfort to me but it is
it really really is
why
i dunno

maybe its cause it means thanksgiving isnt 20 days away
its 19 days away
and then 18 days
and then 17 days
and then 16 days away
and then its here
so on so forth

and then after thanksgiving i can....
do the same thing for christmas

it really sucks actually

i am not living in the moment like i should be
i am not enjoying the here and now
i just want then to be now and now to be gone
when did that happen

lame
i should try to enjoy life more
cause it is stupid not enjoying it
you end up waiting for something and yet you have no clue what something is

enjoy the here and now folks
that is my advice

Patience

Continue in Patience

BAAH READ THAT. Read it. Now. Stop reading this and read that up there. Click it.



Did you do it???

k well now you can read this.

HOLY TOLEDO. THAT IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. SO MUCH.

WAITING IS HARD. BUT with God all things are possible. Even waiting for what seems like endless amounts of time.

I know what will eventually come will come but this whole "patient persistence" and enduring is tough stuff.



For now I am just....

I would rather

First read tHiS. It's pure gold.

Second is something my mom always said to me but to be honest I never ever understood. And I still think I might be a bit fuzzy on the whole thing, but I at least feel closer to understanding now.

She always told me that people do things they do not want to do all the time. When I would complain about having to do something I really didnt want to do, she would say something to the effect of "welcome to the real world, where people have to do things they do not want to do everyday. Don't you think I would rather *fill in activity* than clean your kids messes up all day every day....*blahblahblah*" (Sorry mama)

Kylee's thought - *That makes NO sense to me. Does not compute* <--(in that creepy robot voice)

"Why the heck do people do anything they don't want? I don't do anything I don't want to do...It's how my life has worked out"

My mom always just looked at me like the princess I was pretending to be.

Anyway...here I am in the second day of school of my second year of college. And I am so close to understanding what she is talking about.

THERE IS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DO BUT I AM DOING IT ANYWAY.
*Like the whole "school" thing in general*

Not sure where to go from here.... . . . .  .  .  .   .   .   .    .    .    .     .     .     .      .      .      .      .

Current favorite song ever

Here's a ton of different versions of the best song ever.

Enjoy!!