1 Year Anniversary

Today is our first wedding anniversary. It has gone by faster than any year in my life probably. So fast.

**Thank you Lindsay Ross for coming out of wedding photography retirement for me and doing our wedding pics!! **

We were talking this morning and had a hard time figuring out what we've even done for the last 365 days...

We came up with some things that we remember.

We went on a Christmas Cruise to the Caribbean.

We bought a trailer and fixed it up.

He worked firefighting over the summer. 

I got into grad school and started my MPH program.

I worked as a CNA.

He started school again in January.

We went to Boise, ID to visit my sister. 

We went to St. George the day we got married. 

We camped in the backyard for a while in the tent my aunt gave us for our wedding. 

We had a brunch reception that was the greatest thing ever, if I may say so myself.

**Thank you Megan Klindt Photography for the reception photos!!**

We drove each other bonkers a million times.

We tried a piña colada in Mexico. ew

He's gotten sick about 3 times. I've gotten sick about 1 time (not including cruise sea sickness).

I worked as a tutor and lacrosse coach for a school here.

We've watched a lot of movies.

We started LOST on Netflix.

We fought over bed space probably 200 nights of those 365.

We planted and grew a garden.

He is learning how to make fried eggs without popping the yolks. 

We ate a lot of macaroni and cheese. 

We've started doing P90X Yoga. <-- killer

He missed out on some great family vacays b/c of work. 

He's done some fishing with gpa. 

We've named all of our unborn children....jk, but we have noted our fave names as they have appeared.

We got a hamster named Noel. 

He bought a Harley...and is selling it :)

I went to Chicago for the annual American Public Health Association conference.

We've grown a million % over the last year.



TBCH this first year has not been easy or even that fun sometimes. Marriage takes a lot of adjusting and it was completely miserable and was basically the worst thing ever at times throughout the last year. But it was all worth and and hopefully it is true that the first year is the hardest haha..

But for all the suckiness and misery, I wouldn't change anything about this. I know that my partner is the best for me and that anyone else would have made a run for it. He is perfection for me.

Happy 1st Anniversary my love!

My Birth Control

This post will be a little different than my previous ones because I have never intended to teach anything. Now you may have learnt a thing or two on the way but that was never my intention and I apologize. JK This one however, will be a teaching one.

SO LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES.

I have never been on any form of birth control - except the most fool-proof one...not doing something that could result in a birth haha

BUT as the whole marriage thing has happened...I had to reevaluate my methods. (#celibacy4lyfe)

So I really hated the idea of having to ingest something, put something in my body, stick something to my body, rely solely on my parter etc. etc.  Haha, so what the heck else is there eh?

Thank you for asking. Here's what else there is:
**all info taken from www.kindara.com**
Fertility Awareness Method - No it isn't some weird bead using, rhythm thing. Watch this:



So that is super cute, right? So cute.

Because I am mega lazy and avoiding studying for finals I just took a bunch of screen shots from their avoiding pregnancy page:

So yeah, that about sums it up - do your own research now.

But I've been charting for 16 cycles, like 9 of them married. So success!

They also have a get pregnant page if that is your jam.

I am absolutely fed up

Hear that? I am absolutely fed up. Maybe more just heartbroken, frustrated and discouraged. Maybe those are better words to describe what I am.

With every passing second our world becomes a less stable, accepting, loving, safe place. How many days have passed since the last mass shooting? Zero. 0. None. That's how many. Do we need to start counting in minutes? How pathetic. Where did our conflict resolution skills go?

What has happened? Why do we trust our leaders less now than before?

So what we have a shit president? What happened to Power to the People? Why haven't we done anything about it? Why can't we do anything about it? What happened to the days where when things were going wrong we could change them as a team, a country?

Why do we trust one another less now than before?

What has happened? Why are we so entitled and selfish and dangerously unaware of those around us and yet so willing to offer our commentary on others?

When did it become acceptable for people to expect things they have neither earned nor deserve? How did it happen?

When did we begin to need validation from individuals we see only once yearly?

When did our sense of worth move from what our parents, teachers, mentors, God and we ourselves thought of us to what acquaintance, stranger, random person you'll never meet thinks of us?

When did we stop respecting our elders? At the rate we are going at the least they can say they didn't singlehandedly destroy all of humanity in a single generation. 

When did some other country's citizens become more important than the men and women who are responsible for this country's freedom?

When did we get so spineless? Why can we not stand up for what we believe without some entitled cretin claiming some PC card?  When did differing opinions become "hate" instead of growth? Get a hold of yourselves, you ignorant swine. 

Why does Dr. Everett Piper, President of Oklahoma Wesleyan University, have to write a blogpost like this?

"This past week, I actually had a student come forward after a university chapel service and complain because he felt “victimized” by a sermon on the topic of 1 Corinthians 13. It appears this young scholar felt offended because a homily on love made him feel bad for not showing love. In his mind, the speaker was wrong for making him, and his peers, feel uncomfortable.

I’m not making this up. Our culture has actually taught our kids to be this self-absorbed and narcissistic. Any time their feelings are hurt, they are the victims. Anyone who dares challenge them and, thus, makes them “feel bad” about themselves, is a “hater,” a “bigot,” an “oppressor,” and a “victimizer.”"

Because we are weak, entitled, selfish, arrogant, ignorant. That is a lethal combination of characteristics. It is despicable. We are a despicable people. We are hateful. We are selfish. We are close minded. We have lost so many valuable lessons from humanity like hard work and unity, conflict resolution, not being an ass to name a few. We are individualistic to a fault. We are judgmental to the worst degree. It is no wonder society is literally crumbling before us all with more hatred and division than ever. What else would anyone expect when we ignore people in need, when non procreating couples are wedded, when we care about no one but ourselves, when the safety, health and wellbeing of our own citizens is put far down on the to do list? What else can you possibly expect?

As of yet I have no idea what I am supposed to do about it all. Seems like a hefty task. But the first step is recognizing you have a problem, right? That's more than millions of entitled little freaks have done. 

Wedding Etiquette

There are so many wedding etiquette rules that I find stupid.

Here is the most recent one that I have come upon:

Sources: 

• theknot.com
• huffingtonpost.com
• weddingwire.com
• and various other places

The rule:

Don't put wedding registry information on any wedding invites.

Reasoning:

Who the hell knows?

-or maybe-

When sending an invite you are requesting their presence not their presents. 

The "solution":

Put wedding registry information on your wedding website (because everyone knows everyone has one of those *disgusted hocking loogie noise*)

or

Just have it spread word of mouth of course *another disgusted loogie noise*

Real Talk:

Ok, I'm inviting you to my wedding reception. I (kind of) expect you to come. I also expect you to bring me something. Do I expect you to bring me something because that expectation was created within me? NO, I have been told my whole life through words and examples that that is what happens when someone gets married. So here's my take on the whole sitch. 

You know I want you to bring me a present. I know you feel like you should bring me a present. You know its a hassle to find something that I and my new husband will like. I know that you want it made as easy as possible. I am not buying that whole **let's pretend I am not expecting you to bring me something** thing when everyone knows that you are expected to bring me something. So why bother with that ancient, antiquated, decrepit rule and instead make it easier. I am going to tell you on my wedding reception invitation because you also don't want to have to go look at my wedding website or call my mom or his mom and ask where I am registered. 

Let's be real people. 

Thanks

~ oh and by the way, I am registered at amazon.com so if any of you want to buy me a wedding present, head to amazon.com to mine and Christopher's registry and take your pic - Thanks in advance ;) ~

No one told me that I would not enjoy this:

So I am getting married soon.

There's a lot of stuff that goes into it.

No one told me a lot of this stuff. No one told me that I would have to try on the dress a million times. No one told me I would get hives all over my body for the majority of the two months prior. No one told me that I wouldn't be able to find earrings for my triple forward helix that would look good for a wedding. No one told me that I would have to go to the store 5,019 times the week of. No one told me I would have nightly panic attacks. No one told me that it would be 50+ degrees for weeks before and then snow buckets the day before pictures. No one told me I would have to talk to people left, right, and center. No one told me that floral tape makes your hands feel disgusting. No one told me that everyone would have opinions about things that don't even concern them. No one told me I would have to be the center of attention. No one told me I should fake liking being the center of attention. No one told me that I would not sleep well for days. No one told me Christopher and I would get grumpier and grumpier as the days got closer. No one told me I would have to jump through all sorts of stupid hoops. No one told me to elope.

No one told me I would be fairly unhappy through this process.


THAT BEING SAID: I am not ungrateful. I am the opposite. I am so excited to marry the greatest human ever. I am so thankful that I can do all of these things that others never get to experience. No matter how it happens, I am glad it is happening.

25d15h

I am a traditionalist. I like to do things by the book. Status quo is my fave. I am a rule follower. Very much a rule follower.


SIKE


Lies. All of those. Were lies. I am a liar.

I am not a traditionalist. Most are just stupid social customs that don't serve great purposes. I think there need to be more people willing to change things up a bit. No matter how difficult.

Like ME.


My story:

In approximately 25 days and 15 hours I am marrying the greatest human. (Yes, the firepits, frozen, and flames one) The. Greatest. Human. Never was there another human who handled my repulsion to physical touch, my tendency to bite, my strange woman's health philosophy, my inability to follow rules, and my tendency to enjoy doing nothing.

We will be sealed in the Salt Lake Temple. This is during my spring break, and over a weekend for him. He's in school and we will probably be doing a lot of homework over our honeymoon. *Yay for struggling college students* We will be sealed at 11:40 in the am and then...here is where our follow the tradition train ride ends.

So, we are not doing a reception at that time. Ain't nobody got time for that. Our reception will be in August of 2015. Nearly 6 months after we actually get married. *Yay for the wildland firefighting life* See, he will be gone June to August. So prime time for marriage and receptioning is out of the question for us.

BUT we need to do something to include our families and have a celebration of some sorts. SO, a dutch lunch at Sweet Tomatoes it is. I know...we are just oozing convention. Then, Christopher and I will get in the car and drive to Saint George for two days and then come back to real life.

It gets better.

He has an apartment with his two besties with a lease until June. In Orem. He works. In Orem. He goes to UVU has classes 6-10 pm. In Orem. I live with my dear family. In Sandy. I work 40ish hours a week. In Sandy. I don't finish until 8:15ish pm most nights. In Sandy. The solution: He will go back to his apartment in Orem and I will stay at home in Sandy. Until about August. *Remember the summer firefighting thing?* About 6 months until we will reside in the same dwelling for longer than a weekend.

**WOOPWOOP**

Anyways, that is the plan. It's been pretty stressful. Going against all tradition is hard. What are people going to think? Oh wait, I don't care. But really though. It has clearly been a worry of mine.

I had a dream the other night where after I had sent out the EVITES (HAHA Oh yea, also, we didn't send out paper invitations, we sent out EVITES...without pictures, because we didn't do an engagement shoot.....HAHAHAH) my grandma had come over for something and she said something about how rude and improper our whole plan was. She said it in an underhanded way, just mumbling under her breath and I got very defensive and said it was the way it was going to go. I started to cry as I walked up the stairs. After a few steps I stopped crying and said, "No, you know what? This is how it is working. I will NOT apologize for it." And that is how I feel.


So take up your flags people! Change things up a bit! Do what you want and not what other people expect! It is liberating.

Relationships are like a poker game

Relationships are like a poker game I have realized. It's interesting. 

Think about it. 

2 people playing the game. Each brings something to the table. At first you are generally conservative. Keeping the stakes low. You don't want to raise them too fast or too soon. That leads to disaster and loss. 

Then someone will raise the stakes by say, texting you more often or asking you to do stuff more often. The other must either fold, call, or raise. If you fold, you are out of this game. If you call, it will go on. If you raise, it may go on but it also may end depending on the other player. 

Next round the stakes may raise again, or you continue with what was "called" last round.

Then one ups the stakes. Say you are holding hands now - are you going to fold? call? raise?

How do you decide? Maybe you thought you wanted to fold but actually want to raise.

Maybe you were ok with calling but not raising. 

Maybe you thought there was a possibility of raising but now you want to fold and get out. 

Sometimes it takes a while for you to know what to do in this poker game. 

Its hard. The more there is at stake the harder it is to make a decision. 

**I have never played poker in my life and know basically nothing about it**

The Women in Our Lives

1. I absolutely love Gordon B. Hinckley
2. I am a boob - this made me cry
3. Why is there such a thing as feminism? Why don't you just listen to the words of this man?

Pinterest Boards

You can learn a lot about someone by looking at their Pinterest boards.

For example :

What my Pinterest says about me:

I am obsessed with weddings. I mean, if I weren't, would I A)have 102 pins, and B) be able to watch like 8 episodes of Say Yes to the Dress at a time? Probably not.

I like food more than weddings. Who the heck doesn't? And I actually look at the food pins after I pin them while I have never looked at any of the other pins I pin.

I don't really do the whole exercise thing as much as the food and wedding and pretty much anything else.  I honestly just feel like I should pin things about exercise so people don't think bad things about me. Although my food:exercise pinning ratios reveal a whole lot....

I only think two things are funny and I need A LOT of motivation.

Anyway...you get the point.

What does your Pinterest board say about you?

tru, aju, mózg, axola, mendje

Brain

Mind

Whatever you call it. We've all got one although some use them less than others.... Philosophy tries to prove or disprove the union or disunion of the brain and the mind. Or disprove or prove the existence of the something we know as the mind.

Its fascinating. What do you think about? What does your brain do 24 hours a day, 7 days a week all life long?

Mine finds patterns on the street with the lane dividers. When I see this kind of road paint:



I think of someone running.

When I see this kind:

Someone is riding/pushing a Razor Scooter

When I see this:

 

Can you guess it? If you said someone rollerblading then you would be correct.

Like Regan's blogpost I do it too. My mind connects those things which do not connect themselves. It draws lines and circles and squares and rhombuses around and around and around until it fits into one big web of words and ideas and "-ness"es. It assigns "labels" although these aren't the limiting "put-in-this-box-and-only-this-box" kind of labels. They can go wherever they like and each new experience with the word or idea or thought will add to its "-ness" in my head and get itself somewhere new along with the old.

When I am not driving and making patterns with road markings, gates/fences, words, feelings, and the likes, I pretty much have one thing on my mind. The past while in my life has been spent with thoughts of one topic.

Its not the same thought over and over again although occasionally there are some reruns. Its more like one topic come at from every angle possible til you would think my brain couldn't think anything more about the topic and say, "We have thought this through and through and through again. There is no more to be thought about this. Can we please move on to something else". But it thinks and thinks again. 

They say “We sow our thoughts, and we reap our actions; we sow our actions, and we reap our habits; we sow our habits, and we reap our characters; we sow our characters, and we reap our destiny.”

I hope in the end these thoughts become my destiny. They are good thoughts of hope and optimism and endurance and struggle and pondering and they encompass all that I want out of life. You could say that what I spend so much time thinking about is family.

I mean, what else is there in life?

Something I Think About

Pardon me for posting twice in a day but A) I didn't want to make my last post 1000 years long and B) I didn't want to ruin the preciousness of my previous post with the seriousness of this one

Anywho, a couple weeks ago I was watching Say Yes to the Dress (5 Stars from Kylee) and there was this psycho mom who wanted her daughter to look like a princess but the daughter didn't want to look like a princess and fights ensued. So I went upstairs to my mom and told her that since she has 4 daughters yet to be married off she had better keep her own expectations and desires out of wedding dress shopping. Not her opinion, mind you. You'd never get my mom to keep her opinion to herself. But her expectations of what she wants us to look/act like (if you read my previous post you know how effective trying to dictate my behavior is).

With that in mind... we started talking about weddings and I told her my friends made me promise to have a civil wedding for them. I told her I didn't particularly want to cause what a hassle...(shocking I know...but no, I do not have my wedding planned and my colors picked and whatever else a "normal" girl has thought out...) My mom said I would have to do a civil wedding and then the conversation kind of ended.

Forward to today: I was sitting in the Draper Temple waiting to do baptisms just thinking and I started thinking about getting married in the temple and who in my family would be there. I came to the sad but very real conclusion that at most, only one of my 8 siblings (unless there are some significant events before I get married) would be able to be in the temple with me & my parents/grandparents/etc. Each one of my siblings (and spouses if they have them) has different circumstances keeping them from entering the temple.

These thoughts brought me back to the conversation with my mom about having to have a civil wedding for my friends and I thought to myself "A civil wedding for my friends? My own family won't even be able to attend my Temple Marriage" Sheesh.

Conclusion: I will be having a civil wedding.
Conclusion 2: I hope those various circumstances change so that I may be joined by more than 1/8 of my siblings.

"22 Years of Married Bliss"

My mom said that. Fat load of crap that is. With me as a child? I HARDLY describe raising Kylee as "bliss". In fact, I take a direct quote from said dear mother's blog:

"I remember a particularly frustrating few months with my beautiful, stubborn, bull-headed daughter number 1.  She was probably about 4 or 5.  I was fit to be tied.  She said "no" no matter what you asked her, she defied me at every possible opportunity.  I was certain she would have to be removed from my care because I was going to KILL her. She had to do everything her way.  I was way out of my league.  And I thought step-children, who probably didn't really even like me, were hard.  She was impossible.  So, one evening I was enlisting the advice of my dear husband, "What am I supposed to do with her?  She won't do this, she won't do that.  I can't make her listen . . ."  You get the picture.  I will never forget what he said -- it was the most profound thing anyone had ever said to me up to that point in my life.  It also  made me angrier than I had been in a coon's age.  (If you don't know, don't ask)  He said, and I quote, "You can't control her."  He was so calm, so matter of fact, I wanted to kill HIM then HER.  Yes, I can!  I am her mother!!! Can you hear it?"

Darn right you can't control me....

I digress...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MAMA AND PAPA. No one else coulda raised me...I'm kinda a....how do I put this lightly....kind of a dolt, blockhead, fool, twit, etc. (don't even ask what I put into the online thesaurus to generate those words). Props to the mother for letting me do my own thing...usually I find the right thing.

Thanks parents for setting such a great example for us chilluns. Because of my parents I know what a good marriage (and consequently a good family) looks like:

• 9 kids (give or take)
• Motorcycles
• A house that is never clean (sorry mom)
• Endless laundry
• Walking
• Family Home Evening
• Seeing every movie that has ever come out
• A husband who works hard
• A wife who works hard
• Kids who....learn to....work hard
• Charity
• Illegal Fireworks
• Leftovers
• Kicking the kids out when 24 is on

Yeah that's all I got.