Have you ever seen something bad coming at you & you know you should stop it but for whatever reason you don't or feel like you can't? You are powerless or maybe you don't want to stop the bomb that is about to hit you. I cannot explain it. Why would I want to not save myself?
Like when you are talking with your best friend. It's all jokes and good-natured teasing but you can feel yourself taking it too personally for no good reason? You can see the anger that is about to burst forth and the argument that will likely result.
Things that are normally fun and make you laugh, now make you feel like you are going to cry? You can feel it hitting close to home and instead of telling yourself to let it go, take the blow because it isn't really a blow at all, you let it come at you full force? Its just teasing and fun. Harmless.
Well I had that moment. I saw what was coming and instead of taking the jokes and teasing for what they are, I opened up that part of you that gets hurt really easily to take the hit directly, no cushion at all. So it hit, and it hurt. But it wasn't supposed to. Why did it hurt? When did I become so sensitive? That bomb was not even a bomb. It wasn't meant to damage. It was meant to uplift and give a laugh. Why did it feel like the opposite?
This person never meant to hurt you. In fact, every interaction they have with you is meant to make your life better, make you happier, make you laugh. They want to never do anything to make you mad. They want only the best of everything when it comes to you. And hurting you is certainly not the best.
I couldn't explain it. I was hurt by something harmless. Why?
When I woke up the next day I could explain it. I had missed reading my scriptures the past 2 mornings. I thought about not reading my scriptures independently of why I had gotten so upset at nothing. Then I knew that I was feeling so vulnerable and sensitive because I had not been strengthened by the words of God and the prophets. The two were connected. Completely and totally. A lot like my best friend and I.
Anyway...if you grew up in a situation similar to me, you have heard how important daily scripture study is. Teachers tell you stories illustrating the difference between when you are reading them and when you are not reading them. I've never really doubted the power of reading your scriptures, but I guess you could say I doubted the power of NOT reading your scriptures. One for good, one for evil you might say. I now know how different things can be when you miss reading the scriptures & I will do what I can so it doesn't happen again.
It's incredible, really.
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