Where I am at now

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

I am halfway sorry if I offended you with that

that is where I am at. So many things are shfga;hsfkgjbas;kuegf

I just started a graduate degree program at BYU Provo and I hate it. I dont like what I am learning I dont like what the program is training me to do. And like hello? didn't I choose this program because i was interested in it. Yes stupid i did. 

But what i didn't realize was that everything about public health is political. You can't do anything of any importance without involving a law or government of some kind. why? because no one cares. no one will do anything unless legally required. bc people are the worst. well a lot of people are the worst. and mostly when i say people i mean the collective people - no particular individual ya know?

like smoking. Who the F smokes anymore? a lot of people. Why? who the F knows bc everyone and their unborn children know that smoking is one of the worst things you can do to your body. and yet, so many people still smoke. so we pass laws that keep people of certain ages from smoking and keep people from smoking in certain places. oh and btw that doesn't even work. 

smoking rates for underage humans is stupidly high. so there public health. 

its stupid. and if you are poor you will be less healthy than if you were the exact same but rich. so thats stupid. and if you are black or hispanic you will be less healthy than if you were the exact same but white. so thats stupid. and all of these things are society's fault. 

what i have learned is that until we totally restructure society, people will be unhealthy and die earlier. and since i don't have any desire to become president i have limited options. so f that

and graduate school is about research and i dont care about research. and graduate school is about writing articles to be published and i dont care about being published. 

i hate it. but bc of money and a deal ill keep going this semester but if it aint better i swear i am so out of there its ridiculous. 

anyways i guess all of this is really a thank you and appreciation for my best friend bc without him i would be this

instead of just this

(really awesome drawings by the way people)

so thank you love muffin. youre the greatest

Newlywed Nightmares

So in honor of being married for 5 months and having our reception in a couple weeks, I figured I would do some lovely story telling of the nightmares that Christopher and I have gone through since getting married.

So we got married on a Friday in the morning, and went to St. George in the evening for a three day honeymoon. We got there pretty lateish so we pretty much went right to bed. Our two biggest problems presented themselves fairly quickly.

1. Christopher was sick. Like snotty nose, tissues and garbage can by the bedside, mouth breathing all night sick. It was disgusting. He was gross, but in sickness and in health right?  So yeah that was super gross.


2. I don't share my bed easily. Awake or asleep apparently. I was tired so I fell asleep quickly and was out for the night. According to Christopher, this is what happened:

I was asleep and he was awake, mouth breathing I'm sure. I think he tried to snuggle up to me and instead of accepting it, I kicked him, hard, and told him to move over. He got upset thinking I was awake and being mean so he said, "Fine, I was moving over anyways."

He told me this in the morning. I don't remember it at all.



Our biggest problem was sleeping together - as in literally sleeping in the same bed together. I talk in my sleep. A lot. So much that I wake him up and he thinks I am talking to him so he will respond. Well, when he responds he wakes me up and I get pissed because why the heck is he waking me up in the middle of the night to talk to me?!? So annoying. Night time is sleep time, not talk time.

One night, I screamed bloody murder in my sleep. Like horror story stuff. Christopher was so freaked out so he started shouting my name. Shouting at a sleeping person, can you imagine? Geez. So he yells me awake and of course, I got angry at him for waking me up.

I also am very aggressive in my sleep. I sort of abuse him a lot. He gets too close and my (sleeping) self will physically remove him from my half of the bed. Kicking, pushing, punching. I have done it all to him during the night.

Another thing I do is move. A lot. One night, I was possessed and started to bob my head up and down on the pillow, counting with each rise and fall. I mean that is creepy. So creepy. My husband thought I was possessed for like three days. I honestly felt bad for that one.

It took like 3 months before we could get a good night's sleep after being married. Luckily, we have mostly worked that out and the nightly domestic abuse has lessened and as far as I know, he is used to me talking all the time.

It drives him crazy though because he wants me to remember what I am dreaming or why I am talking, but I never remember my dreams. He remembers all of his dreams.

I say he should just be happy I am not beating him up anymore. :)

Ignorance

People who don't know make me sad

I make things

I like to make things.

My constant question is, "Why buy it, when I can [buy the supplies and] make it?"

Here are a few examples:

Knit headbands:

Christmas wreath:

Lace detailing on dress/shorts:

My wedding bouquet/boutonniere:

Dog house:

Colored pants:

It makes me happy to create.